


Poisoned Honey

by AnonymousPumpkin



Category: Inuyasha - Fandom
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousPumpkin/pseuds/AnonymousPumpkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His voice was like poisoned honey, and she clung to it even as she felt its venom coating her heart. A by-the-seat-of-your-pants story about how the heart can be twisted by a seemingly friendly face. ON HIATUS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Words Like Knives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kagome is left in a figurative hell, and shares it with the one person we know is bad news.

            Everything, everything burned. She tried to move, but her limbs felt heavy, as if thousands of red-hot needles were pressed into her skin, weighing her down. She tried to scream, but her mouth flooded with poison and she only screamed louder. There was too much fire for pain, and too much pain for fear, and far too much fear to allow for any hope. She tried to claw her way up to the surface, but it was so far gone that she wasn’t sure she could have made it no matter how hard she tried.

            In a last desperate effort, she tried to reach for the power deep inside her, but her hold on it slipped as she realized that her heart was beating too fast. A faint glow filled her vision before it was snuffed out by the burning, which had surpassed her skin and now encompassed her entire existence. Her legs filled with nails and her fingers turned to ash and her heart began to slow, too exhausted to beat its last desperate song.

            She wasn’t sure when the pain became black numbness…or perhaps they had always been one and the same. She was floating, feeling nothing but a vague sense of relief at having somehow escaped the pain, and a strong urge to close her eyes and go to sleep. Everything was peaceful and her mind knew nothing but blackness. The nothing was so complete that she realized she didn’t know who she was, but the desire to find out faded as her eyes began to slide closed.

            She began to slip away, towards something that a long-forgotten part of herself knew to fear.

            “Kagome.”

            She was startled out of her slumber, her eyes flying open as the name echoed around her. She fell harshly away from her peace, but she fell onto comforting darkness that hugged her and blurred her edges. The name repeated, rolling around her and her mind until she conjured a single response.

            _Yes._

            The voice was not hers. It spoke her named with such affection, such _intimacy_ , but simultaneously filled her with dread. But she knew…she _knew_ it was right. She was Kagome. Ka. Go. Me. Knowing was a joy, a comfort, the only emotion that she could identify in the black nothing. If she could have, she would have smiled.

            But… The imaginary smile faded early.

            “Kagome…”

            “But…who are you?” she asked, somewhat distressed she didn’t know her savior, her only companion. She tried to reach for them, but her hand brushed against only the darkness. She realized in the back of her mind that she was dying. That was why she couldn’t reach them.

            “You know.”

            _An angel_ , a voice in her head whispered.

            **A demon** , another voice whispered back.

“Can you…save me?”

            “I can.”

            She tried to think of every face and every voice she knew, but none had ever spoken to her like that. She had never known a voice to sound like that, and no face she could imagine matched. Giving up on faces, she instead thought of names. What name struck such fear in her heart and yet owned her so completely? Who would dare to speak to her in such a gentle tone, a tone she realized belatedly was that of a lover. Who alone had the power to save her from this death, which she could feel slowly creeping up on her and weighing her again with the desire to close her eyes and sleep until the eternities ended?

            _Who are you?_

            The answer came like lightning on a pitch black night, and a shiver ran through her. Her eyes would have widened if they could, and she imagined they did. She struggled against the darkness to see him, but found no escape. She felt a presence and was torn between the desire to flee and the desire to bury herself in its bright life completely. He was a bright beacon, hurting her imaginary eyes with his brilliant light, but he was far too faded and blurred to touch.

            “My dear Kagome,” he greeted, a smile twisting the sweetened words. His voice was like poisoned honey, and she clung to it even as she felt its venom coating her heart. But she knew it. She knew that voice, she knew his face, she knew his name.

            It caught like barbs and burned like fire as she spat it up and it flew into the darkness with the precision of an arrow.

            “Naraku…” 


	2. Turn Down These Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which very little happens, but Kagome does suffer what appears to be a mental break as she dies a thousand imagined deaths.

            His name caught like barbs and burned like fire as she spat it up, and she was ashamed to feel _relieved_ simply at seeing a familiar face. Her voice sounded like a monotone despite her best efforts to put emotion into it. She felt a pull, dragging her down, but something, some _one_ , kept her up.

            “Naraku…”

            “You remember me. I’m touched.” She could barely see him, a blur of grey and purple in the black, impossible to miss and hard to see. “But what else, I wonder…” His eyes clouded and his hand twitched as if he intended to reach for her.

            She had intended to ask him what he wanted, where he was keeping her, but as if triggered by his words, pain flashed through her head, knowledge hitting her like a ton of bricks and burning more than the miasma could have dared to. As her mind exploded, she became aware of her body, or what she thought was her body, and took the opportunity to react, curling up and holding what she believed to be her head. Memories flashed behind her closed eyelids, hot and chaotic in her mind. Fear began to beat at her, quick and inescapable, as she felt a dozen swords slice her limbs, a hundred fangs pierce her skin, a thousand fires burn her hand, a million words break her heart, and then she was falling.

            _Falling, falling, FALLING…help, please, help, catch me, please—_

She wasn’t sure what was louder: her screams or Naraku’s voice. She didn’t even know what he was saying. As she slowly, slowly, remembered who he was, hatred seeped through her, along with pity, sympathy, fear, and a host of other emotions that, after what felt like an eternity of being numb, were almost enough to drown her. She had no idea what they were or how to direct them, but she began to pick out half-truths among everything. None of them were pleasant.

            _I fell…I think I died…and all I have for company is_ him… She felt _so_ lucky at having wound up with a crazy hanyou abomination as her only companion in what appeared to be—

            “My darling Kagome…”

            His voice broke her fragile train of thought and completely destroyed the peace she sought to maintain. But as she strove to understand the tenderness in his voice, the thoughts in her own self died down. His image grew crisper as her own emotions drew dimmer, and she leaned closer to him, attracted to the complexities and the thoughts and the feelings and the _life_ she could _feel_ churning behind his mask of skin and fur.

            They stared at each other for moments that might have been tense if Kagome were not slipping and drowning in the throes of her panic. There were absolutely no noises, no colors, _nothing_ to focus on but the figure before her, whose face both repulsed and attracted her. She resisted the urge to reach out, but voices in the back of her began to question her grip on reality…after all, if she were where she thought was, how could he find her? Surely even he couldn’t best death.

            It was shock or pure apathy that prevented her from pushing him away as he came closer. As his face came into focus, she held the breath she didn’t have. He was _beautiful._ How she could hate him, she didn’t know, but there was hesitation that stopped her hands from reaching out for him. She longed to see his lips drawn into a smile, his eyes twinkle with a laugh, his voice whispering her name so softly again. He did none of those things. He stopped a foot or so away from her, and when she finally dared to look up again, there was no gloating or sadistic joy on his face, as she might have expected. Instead, he looked almost…sympathetic.

            “Kagome…” he started, but was cut off by her shriek. She almost reached for him, certain he may have some answers, but was stopped when another random flood of memories hit her. She fought them desperately, but the harder she tried to beat them back, the harder they pushed at her mind. It was as her mind was screaming at her with a million different voices, all convinced they were the truth.

The images in her head were disjointed and confusing, and the emotions brought with them even more so. Everything she conjured disappeared instantly, contradicted and torn down by her next coherent thought or stray string of information. The only thing that made sense was _him_ , him with his old-fashioned words that laid her worrying thoughts to rest and reminded her of her undesirable reality. She didn’t even care what he was saying, though she was sure the words were nothing good. She cut off his ignored monologue with a biting question in a tone that was far more harsh than she felt.

            “Am I dead?”

            “Yes.” His face barely twitched, his voice hardly shook, and he looked as nonchalant as was possible.

            She expected despair, fear, disbelief, anything you’d imagine might come from being told you were dead, but all she felt was confusion. _Why_ was she dead? She tried to remember what happened, but only found the same jumble of thoughts as before. She held her head again, trying in vain to restore some semblance of order. But all she got were brief moments, flashes, sensations she couldn’t name or put a face to. But, she knew, vaguely…

            “I…I fell?”

            “Yes.”

            If she was dead…was Naraku hell? She had to admit, the thought was somewhat amusing. Her lips almost quirked into a smile as she asked hesitantly, “Is…is this hell?” She felt she just _had_ to confirm and she felt a bit of her old self (or what she _believed_ was her old self) returning.

            “No.”

            _Oh_. She had to admit that was disappointing, if only for the irony of it…the irony she didn’t _quite_ understand. She stared at him for a moment, caught between curiosity and caution. “So…if I’m dead…why are you here?” From what she knew, which wasn’t much, she could assume that Naraku _wasn’t_ the one who came to find her when things went dark, and his was not the face she woke up to. In fact, his presence _repulsed_ her.

            **A demon,** the voice whispered again.

            _An angel_ , the other argued, and then her mind fell silent.

            “Don’t you remember?” There was a smile in his voice, but she had no desire to look up and see it. But she _felt_ him move, felt his fingers brush under her chin, pulling her gaze up to meet his. She resisted only a moment, knowing that in the end, he would always be stronger than her. His eyes were dark and unreadable. They were brown, she thought, but with a red tint that was swirling, swirling, mesmerizing and impossible to look away from. “I’m here to save you.”

            “Save…me?” Her face grew hard and she knew her expression was probably petulant and childish. She didn’t want him to save her. She wanted…she wanted…

She searched desperately for something to say, but the only thing that came to mind didn’t make any sense. “Where’s Inuyasha?” she demanded, pulling away from him with unexplainable tears in her eyes. She _sounded_ like a child, whiny and needy and desperate for the answer to a question she didn’t even remotely understand.

            _Inuyasha…_ Who _was_ that? She couldn’t quite remember, but she knew that she felt something stirring in her at the name, a desire, an affection, and a _knowing_. Inuyasha _would_ come for her, and he _would_ save her. And when he did, he would hold all the answers. She knew it. And she knew that Naraku knew it too. She saw it, a brief shadow across his face as he searched for the answer to his question. Hope began to blossom inside her, and with that hope, a small smile that grew slowly and in jerky movements.

            “Inuyasha…he’s not coming.”

            Kagome’s breath caught in her throat and she found herself on the verge of tears again. “What…?”

            “Don’t you remember…darling _Kagome_?” The pet name disturbed her now, sending shivers down her spine. The tender tone she had just moments ago craved now sounded vaguely mocking, and she wanted him to _stop._ She just wanted her answer.

            “I don’t remember…” she insisted. “Where is Inuyasha?” Isn’t he coming?

Instead of answering, Naraku knelt down before her. “Here…let me help you…” Without any more warning, he laid his palm directly on her forehead, and another flood of memories rushed into her brain. The voices began again, screaming at her to remember memories she didn’t like. Crying out, she jerked away, holding her head, which was growing heavier and heavier. A hand laid itself on her shoulder, and she thought she felt power pulsing in those fingertips.

            _Stop fighting_ , the voice whispered, and its kind tone calmed her. _Let me help you remember…_


	3. Been Talking In My Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome remembers what may have been her last day on Earth and receives a painful answer to her question.

_"We're close…I can smell him…"_

_Kagome leaned closer to Inuyasha. This place was giving her the creeps. She clutched her bow to her chest. She felt kind of exposed without having her comrades at her back. Miroku and Sango had gone a different way, opting to take a different fork in the path. Of  course, she wouldn’t dare have let them wander deeper into Naraku’s lair without some form of communication. Kagome looked at the sparklers in her hand, and hoped she wouldn't have to set them off. Inuyasha would probably go deaf. But, if their friends needed help, they had most of them, and she'd spent most of the previous night teaching them how to use them without setting themselves on fire._

_She paused, noticing now the shadowy forms in the open doors they passed. She shivered as she thought of all the lives that had been lost here…most of them probably hadn't even known what was going on. Just nobles and servants and people going about their lives as normal before he’d come and disrupted them. She stared especially long at one that was smaller, either a child or an older person. Sorrow and anger built inside of her, and she cursed the man responsible._

_Inuyasha stopped and turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing. "C'mon, stop dawdling…"_

_"Shut up! You're so impatient." Kagome's whisper was loud, and echoed around the empty hall. She acted obstinate, but she obeyed and walked faster. Her fingers caught the trailing red end of his sleeve, and her heart swelled when he didn't shake her off. "How much further, do you think?" She let out a displeased whine as she stepped over a skeleton, still dressed in finery from what appeared to be some sort of feast or party._

_"Not much farther…whole damned place stinks," he complained, lifting his hand to cover his nose. "Doesn't bother cleaning up after himself, does he?"_

_They came to a section where the entire wall was melted away, and she stopped to look at it. Two skeletons rested in the carnage, half-eaten away by acid. "What…what happened here?" she wondered aloud, skipping ahead a few steps to stay right on Inuyasha's tail. She felt sick to her stomach, but she couldn't help her gaze constantly sliding back._

_"He killed 'em." The matter-of-fact explanation wasn't quite what she had been going for, but she sighed and carried on after him._

_They walked down the seemingly endless hall. The air grew thicker, but colder, and soon Kagome felt as if she were breathing half-frozen slush. She began to wheeze slightly, partially from fear. Something about this place was wrong._ Very  _wrong. She had a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach._

_"Hold on…" Inuyasha's arm came and pushed her back a step. The hall ended with a door that looked bright and out of place amidst the rotting and dilapidated backdrop. Behind it, she could hear a faint breeze blowing, and she didn't need a demon's nose to smell the fresh air. Only Inuyasha's restraint on her kept her from running headlong through the door. He pushed it open carefully, taking a cautious sniff before grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her forward with him. "He's close…wait…"_

_…Kagome's fingers hardly shook as she stepped back inside, turned and set off the fireworks, leaving most of them on the ground but letting a few fly off down the hall, to help their friends find them…_

_…Naraku smiled, spoke a few cruel words, and held out one taunting hand._

_That was all the invitation they needed._

" _Ready?" Inuyasha asked, Tetsusaiga out already. They barely spared a glance at each other; Kagome's bow was already at the ready, her eyes trained on the shine of shards and the black of Naraku's heart. They shifted a single step apart instinctually, giving each other plenty of room to react. Kagome's heart pounded and adrenaline coursed through her in the heat of the battle that hadn't started yet._

" _Go!" she called, speaking both to her companion and to the arrow she loosed. It was a streak of white light that their foe barely managed to dodge…_

… _she let out a cry of triumph as she finally hit her mark, though her triumph was short-lived when she saw how close she'd come to hitting Inuyasha. The mass of tentacles fell away from him, but he wasn't out of the woods yet. He still had to punch off those too close to cut and cut those too large to punch. The proximity of her burning arrow made him pause, which put him back in the clutches of their foe. Immediately she grabbed another arrow, hoping this next one would distract Naraku long enough to give Inuyasha a better advantage._

" _Watch where you're aiming, woman!" The hanyou bristled even from this far from the purification energy. "Ya almost fried me, dammit!"_

" _You shouldn't have been in the way!" she called defiantly, pulling back her arrow. Her heart stopped when she realized this was the last one left…she would have to make it count. Biting her lip, she lowered it slightly. She waited this time. She was hidden, out of danger, but Inuyasha wasn't getting anywhere with his wild swings._

Oh, where are the others?  _she thought desperately, sure they wouldn't win without them. They were holding him off, but just barely. She felt something, something bad. Something was wrong about this battle._

We shouldn't be able to take him at all _, she thought, but had no more time for doubts when she saw how close Inuyasha was to falling._

" _Gotta hit…" she murmured to herself, and pulled the string back one more time. She willed all of her energy into the arrow and let it fly…_

… _She was running…she screamed as the ground gave way beneath her feet and she felt herself in the start of a fatal plummet. Her eyes widened as she beheld the river of miasma below her and she grasped wildly for something to hold onto. Her hands found a protruding root, and she cried out again as the skin was scraped off of her hand. She slid, but she stopped…for now. She let out a small whine of effort as she tried to drag herself up, but the arrows she had shot and the activity she had done earlier was all taking its toll, and her arms had no more strength in them. It took all she had just to stay upright._

_"Inuyasha…" she muttered, searching to find him. He was…up. Dancing around Naraku, shouting taunts and making feints with that arrogant half-smirk on his face. It would have warmed her heart were the situation any different. Indecision tore her…but it all came down to instinct and to habit when her fingers gave out and she once again began to fall._

_"INUYASHA!" she screamed as she fell, and watched the smile slide from his lips. He shouted something, but she didn't hear him, couldn't see him, couldn't see anything but her own hand desperately outstretched, and then everything dissolved into a world of nothing but pain and blackness. Her hand caught on another root, but how long would it hold…_

" _Ow_!" Kagome complained, holding her head as she struggled to bring some semblance of order to her thoughts. She fought…she fell, she cried, she kissed…she felt a warm arm around her and a sword in her belly and a snake wrapped thrice around her waist. "My head…can't…remember…" Her fingers burned, from rope? from the root? She dug her nails into her scalp, hoping to use the sensation to drag her mind back to the present. But it only ground the memories to dust and they ran together, blurring until she couldn't see truth. Whatever it was Naraku was so desperate for her to remember,  _she didn't want to remember it._  She shied away from him and the memories he held in his hands. She shut up the voices that were shouting of falling and burning and betrayal and the face of a woman who looked just like her.

"Hush…I'm only trying to help." His voice was soft and desperate, but he didn't try and press his hands against her again. “Do you want to remember?”

Tears began to leak from the corners of Kagome's eyes, uncalled for and unnoticed until that very moment. She lifted her hand and touched one finger to halt a single falling drop. She was unsure what emotions were supposed to go with the act, so she just turned to her old train of thought. She gathered her shattered resolve and she straightened her back, holding herself against imagined enemies. In her mind, she was surrounded by a barrage of demons and monsters and men with sharp teeth, and in the center of it was him, the only real thing about this entire damn thing, and even  _he_  wasn't as forthcoming as she wanted.

"Just…just tell me where Inuyasha is!" she begged, feeling panicky and scattered now. The memories had done nothing, not when she had a hundred more lined up to contradict them. But no matter what path she tried to follow, they always ended the same. Inuyasha stood above her, just out of reach, and she fell, fell into a river of fire and she burned and she— “Please, just tell me!”

There was something in his gaze that made her fear for her life, for her soul.  _Why wouldn't he tell her?_ She knew she should be wary, but her emotions weren't exactly obeying her logical thoughts at the moment. She was desperate for a word, any word from him, of explanation, of soothing, of comfort, of scorn...she didn't care. Any answer was satisfactory. Her soul burned with the question, the name.

_Inuyasha_...

Naraku still didn't answer. His face fell, and he looked frighteningly sad before his face resumed a look of semi-nonchalance. "Don't fight it…" he said again, but she only struggled more. He tried to touch her forehead again. She jerked away. "Don't you  _want_  to remember?" he asked, not letting her rebuttal put him off. She thought he would sound impatient, but there was only kindness in his tone, genuine concern. "Don't you want to know?"

" _No_!" she cried, swatting away his hand. "Just…just  _tell_  me! Where is Inuyasha? Why isn't he coming for me?" She looked into his face, but his eyes frightened her and she looked away, her eyes turned downward. She was an ocean of conflicting and confusing emotions. He had her only lifeline and he dangled it just out of reach, hiding behind his faux concern and taunting her with the answers that would bring her peace.

Naraku's face softened, and he looked genuinely sorrowed. If she'd looked further, she might have seen the utter delight in his eyes as he said, "My dear…Inuyasha  _killed_  you."


	4. Our Secret Red String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naraku presents Kagome with a proposition she can't find it in herself to resist.

            “ _No_!!” Kagome screamed, swatting his hand away. Desperation and dread filled her heart as she fought against the conflicting images and feelings in her head. Everything in her rejected what she had just been told, and she did her best to ignore it. She pushed away her memories and her thoughts that weren’t entirely hers and devoted her entire being to the answer she craved. “Just…just tell me… _please_! Where is Inuyasha?” Her voice shook and grew softer as she continued talking. “Why isn’t he coming for me…?”

            “My dear…” Naraku’s eyes shone even as his face fell, but his tone was sincere. “Don’t you recall? You _died_ , my dear…Inuyasha _killed_ you.”

            Shock stilled her, and Kagome’s whole body felt like ice at those three simple words. Her resolve not to look at him faded and her gaze snapped up. “Wh…what?”

            “You fell…remember?” His hand curled into a fist and raised slightly as if this very thought angered him. “You fell and you died, and now I…” His face softened and his voice took on the strangest edge. “Forgive me? I can understand how you wouldn’t want to remember…”

            As he spoke, she remembered…something holding her from a high place…she was scared…but sure. She was so sure. Inuyasha would rescue her, Inuyasha would save her, Inuyasha _loved_ her…but she fell. She was cut. She was hung. She was beheaded. She _died._ There was burning and she felt as if her soul was being ripped out of her body and she screamed and clawed and begged for him, and yet still he…he didn’t come… He was never coming.

            _Inuyasha isn’t coming._

            _No!_ It couldn’t be…it just _couldn’t_! She shot to her feet, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Inuyasha would _never_ abandon her, she knew it…it was…this wasn’t real! With that thought firmly in mind, she turned on her heel and took off running, not sure where she was going…she was just going to push through this illusion and Inuyasha would be waiting for her on the other side with open arms. Her body was weak and she stumbled often, but every time she fell, she pushed herself up. For him, she thought. For her.

            But the darkness was never-ending, and as the end didn’t present itself, she began to count steps desperately. At a hundred and twelve she began to despair, at a hundred and forty-seven she began to trip, and when she fell at two hundred and thirty-four, she didn’t get back up. As she stared at the black beneath her fists, her skin the only color in the world, her vision blurred with tears as bleak reality set in.

            _I’m dead…Inuyasha didn’t save me_ … _no one can save me…_

Terror took hold, fear of the unknown “beyond”, of the people she couldn’t remember leaving behind, the consequences of her death which echoed without her knowledge.

            “Why…why did he…?” She covered her eyes, as if shielding herself from the world would shield her from the truth. “I…lov…I lo…”

The word… _love_. It caught in her throat and refused to come out, leaving her desperate affections unspoken. She choked on it and swallowed it down, a familiar and sad motion.

“Inuyasha…” She whispered desperately, praying to whatever gods would listen that her words would reach beyond the worlds and guide her love to her. She curled up tighter as if to protect her heart from attack. In spite of everything, she felt hope rising inside of her, a tiny, almost drowned out, voice that dared to scream that Inuyasha would _never_ leave her. He couldn’t leave her. She loved him. And she was sure…he didn’t show it, she remembered, but she was _sure_ he loved her too.

            “Love…your _love_ wasn’t enough, it seemed.” Naraku’s hand rested on her back, moving slowly, so slowly, in a comforting pattern. But he stopped almost immediately, and his fingers pressed into her back urgently. How he had gotten so close so fast, she didn’t know. “You don’t deserve such a thing…such a loveless life.” He sounded like he…understood. There was sympathy in him, pity…desire? “Such a tragic life. All alone…”

            Kagome’s tears stopped short at the implication. Her breath caught. She sat up, holding herself and staring into her enemy’s face pathetically.

            “You don’t have to remember,” he pressed on, reaching up and resting his palm against her cheek. He stroked her cheekbone lightly, and the sensation left her leaning into him, desperate for the touch. “It must hurt, to remember that betrayal, that pain…you can leave it behind, if you like.” His tone became more serious, losing its tender edge. “Inuyasha…he didn’t truly love you, did he?” She was on the verge of screaming as she looked for some sign of deceit in Naraku’s face, but he looked so sincere, so sympathetic, that she couldn’t imagine he could be lying to her. “Anyone who loved you wouldn’t have let you fall like that…wouldn’t have let you hurt like that. His heart must not have been with you at all.”

            “No…” Kagome’s faith in his words was shaky, but…there was this great sorrow in her, this resentment that she couldn’t explain. Was he…right? Had she truly been abandoned? “ _No_. Inuyasha wouldn’t…he _wouldn’t_.” She was sure. Heaven knew she had no idea why, but she _was_ sure.

            “You deny the anger that burns? Do you think it’s just _there_? Why do you think you hate so freely?” he asked her. “Surely you knew this, before. Why don’t you listen to the voice, give in to the hatred of him?” He stared into her stubborn face a moment more, then suggested, “Do you need further proof?” His voice grew sadder still and he leaned in. “Oh, my dear Kagome…” He reached out and cradled her head again, his thumbs stroking away her tears. “If you need further proof…look.”

            He stood and pointed at some point beyond her sight. She squinted. A splash of color appeared on the horizon, growing brighter and bigger until she found herself spying on a scene that was hauntingly familiar. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was, but…

            “Oh…that’s where I died.” The realization was a bit sickening, but she let out a delighted gasp as she saw Inuyasha, standing before her as clear and warm and alive as anything. He was shorter than she thought he’d be, but he was every bit as magnificent as she knew him to be. His silver hair moved to a breeze she couldn’t feel, and she felt a yearning in her breast, already envious of the life he possessed. But she ignored it, more than content just to know what she knew. His face brought her peace. _He’ll look for me!_ she thought, relief and faith flooding her. _He’ll_ …

            But something was wrong. He took a single step forward, but no more than that. He sheathed his sword, staring down at something she couldn’t see, but did nothing more. She thought she saw his lips move, but it was only a moment before he turned away and began to run. Suddenly his life felt distant, her love for him felt forced, and she saw a smudge of red waiting for him on his horizon. She cried out.

            “Inuyasha, come back!” she screamed, as if he could hear her. She raised herself onto her knees. A pit was lodged in her stomach and her voice caught as she called. “Please…I’m here! Inuyasha! I’m…I’m right here…” She scrambled to her feet and stumbled forward desperately, her hand outstretched as if to grab his robe. But she only pitched forward, landing against the soft cushion of the darkness, and she looked up at the image of her love. She stared after him, dull with shock. He didn’t acknowledge her shouts or look back at her deathplace, running without stopping into the horizon with the gleam of the Shikon Jewel in his hand and the silhouette of someone she hated in his eyes.

            Naraku pressed against her back. She was distantly aware of his hands on her shoulders, the arm that wrapped around her in comfort. She stiffened, but when he did nothing else, she gave in and leaned against him, letting the tears flood freely from her eyes. She continued to stare after Inuyasha, daring to believe that he would turn back.

            “How unfair,” he murmured behind her, his mouth rested against the back of her head. Later she might wish she had turned around and looked into his face, because no illusion could be kept up forever. “How horrible that you should be left here to die…and Inuyasha still walks.”

            At that moment, Kagome didn’t care a thing for any of that. Self-pity and desolation took over and she slumped forward, letting the sobs take her until there was nothing left inside. Naraku stroked her shoulder, her hair, her hands, her sides, his eyes gleaming with triumph and delight. He whispered no comforting words, but he didn’t need to. It was enough that he was there, and his words from earlier stood out in her mind as hopeful as she could dare to be.

            _You don’t have to remember._

            Silence fell.

            “What do you want?”

            “What do you mean?” Naraku didn’t pull away, though she began to wish he would. His finger began to stroke her arm gently. “I told you already…”

            “You always want something,” she spoke with certainty she didn’t quite feel. She was certain he would demand something of her, though she had little to give. But then again…she had felt so certain Inuyasha would save her, and yet… She stared at the empty space where his figure had stood, and swallowed. This...this world made no sense. Her memories were scattered, her emotions even more so, and all she had in this world of uncertainty was Naraku, with his honey-sweet words that cut like hot knives. She asked again, “What do you want from me?” It came as a whisper, uncertain and soft.

            “I want to give you a second chance.”

            Kagome’s breath stilled again. “What…?”

            “You and I…we are tied together,” he murmured, his grip on her tightening. “Through lives, through centuries, through all these times…we have always come back together, haven’t we? I run from you, you chase after. You go to a place where no one can find you…and _I_ can. You and I, Kagome, tied by that red string…you _created_ me. Your heart has fed me. It is only right that I help you in your time of greatest need…” His voice twisted softly into a smile. “What do I want…you ask? I want to help you…to get your vengeance.”

            “On…Inuyasha…?” she whispered, not sure if she wanted that. But…he was right. There was something inside of her, this hatred, this _anger_ , and it had to come from somewhere.

            “On all of them. On the _world_ ,” he whispered, his other arm wrapping around her. “Everyone who’s ever done you wrong…you will get back at them. You will fight those who left you for dead…and you will make them rue the day they turned their backs on you.”

            Names, meaning nothing but anger and pain to her, flashed through her mind. There were no faces, only emotions and symbols and twisted little sobs.

            _Miroku. Sango. Inuyasha…yes,_ Inuyasha _._

            “And then…?” she whispered, fearful. When she had done all of that…would she die? She wanted desperately to ask him, but something stilled her. She was sure he knew, though, and she knew that if he wanted her second chance, surely he wouldn’t let her…

            He shifted slightly, his mouth pressed against the back of her head. “And then…” he murmured, “…then we see where destiny takes us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Format, seriously, wtf are you doing STAWP


	5. I'm Gonna Pick Up The Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy with the burden she was supposed to have discarded, Kagome wakes to find a familiar face hovering nearby.

             _“You and I, Kagome…created by that red string…”_

            Long after Naraku had faded and left her in total darkness, his voice remained echoing around in her head. Kagome stayed where she was, kneeling in the darkness with only herself for company. She felt so…so lonely. He told her to wait and she did, but in a place where time was of no consequence, that was so much more difficult.

            She remembered people…when she thought of the word “lonely”, a whole army of faces appeared before her, some with names and some without. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t imagine their relation to her or how she knew them or even if she knew them. All she knew was that thinking of them brought back the _lonely_ and with the lonely came the _pain_ and with the pain came the _hatred_. They had left her, hadn’t they. They’d gone on to live, to do all the things she was supposed to do, to be free, while she was trapped in this hellish black with nothing but the memory of honey-sweet words to keep her sane.

            What had she done, she wondered, to deserve this? She was…well, she _thought_ she was kind and she hadn’t done a thing wrong that she could remember and she had given everything she had to people who didn’t even have the heart to mourn her deathplace.  Why did _they_ get to live while she was here? She wished Naraku would come again just so she didn’t have to be alone. He’d left her with a promise, though…he said that she’d see him again. He said he could bring her back.

            So she waited. Faithfully, gratefully, hesitantly.

            It felt like a hundred years passed. With every imaginary heartbeat, her imaginary heart grew more bitter, and she began to feel fit for murder. She bit her lip and she closed her eyes and she waited. But after her hundred-year wait, she realized she felt heavy. It was as if…. _as if she had a body._

            Elation filled her, but it was cut very short when the weight became more and more, and then with the weight came…a strange…distant… _burning_ …

Kagome opened her eyes. For a second, the world was full of dim stars and inky blackness, but gradually it evened out and she saw a room. It was dim and she couldn’t tell if that fogginess was her own eyes failing or the smoke from the many candles and incense she could smell. She wanted to jump into every sensation, every color, but there were so few. The world looked dim and washed-out, and her skin felt only scratchy and hot. Her ears felt plugged, and all she heard was a rhythmic _thump-thump_ that sounded less like a heartbeat and more like a frenzied drum.

There was nothing particularly interesting about the ceiling, which was the only part of the room she could really see.

After she became aware of her surroundings, she became aware of herself. She felt so heavy and there was a dull ache as if she was trying to hurt but couldn’t quite remember how. Her breath was hard to come by, but she was aware, so very aware, of one other thing. That thumping in her heart, the feeling of her body pulsing to a lonely beat. Her breath caught as she felt the pumping, in her fingertips, her throat, her stomach…her entire body pulsed. Her eyes filled with tears as she felt her own heartbeat.

            “I’m…alive…” she whispered. Her voice sounded raspy and harsh against tender ears that hadn’t heard anything for gods knew how long, but it was _her_ voice. Emotions overwhelmed her and she struggled to get through it. Her eyes filled with tears, but only a single one leaked out. She dared to feel relieved, happy, even though she knew it wasn’t under the most ideal conditions.

            “You’re awake. That’s good.”

            That was not her honey-sweet voice, but it was similar. It wasn’t as startling as it should have been. She turned her head slowly, still not used to moving and feeling as if her every muscle was made of wood. Her eyes strained to pick detail out of the blurry background of the room, and she finally registered that she wasn’t alone. There was a woman in the corner, staring at her with a bored expression on her face. Her kimono was bright with bold stripes, and she held a fan in her hand. Her scowl turned into a hesitant smirk, a smirk that was very familiar. There was a quality, a thing in her face, that strongly resembled Naraku, and Kagome wondered if they were related. Kagome knew her name, she knew she did, and she blinked slowly as she tried to remember it.

            “K…Kagura?” She finally guessed, her voice soft and hesitant.

            “Ah, you remember. Yo.” She was given a mock salute, but Kagome frowned as the smirk dropped from the demoness’s face. The confirmation was cold and curt, but it was enough. Kagome felt relieved at having some of her memory at least. She felt triumphant to have overcome that small but meaningful hurdle. She tried to smile, but it seemed an ill-practiced expression and it fell away quickly, to her dismay.

The woman… _Kagura_ …didn’t seem to notice or care too much about Kagome’s emotional instability or outbursts, which was just as well. She didn’t think she could stand being hovered over, especially not by someone so obviously…hostile. She tried to imagine the woman being concerned or invested in her, but the image that came up was more amusing than comforting. She got a glare for her chuckle, though, and kept the uncomfortable smile on her face for pure spite and the juvenile delight at rebellion.

            Kagome tried to look around more, now curious about the room she was in, but it took so much effort just to turn her head that she soon gave up. Her body felt as if it were made of lead, but she was so grateful to be alive that she didn’t even care. She gave up with a sigh and just settled for looking up, her eyes angled towards Kagura.

            “Where am I?” she asked. It wasn’t something that had occurred to her until now, but she obviously wasn’t at her deathplace, unless Naraku had just built a castle around her body. That seemed rather impractical. She remembered, vaguely, being in a place like this before the end, but that castle had been dark and full of dark energy and dead bodies. This place, so far, was only one of those things.

            Kagura crossed the room, ignoring the question. She had an arrogant saunter that simultaneously attracted and exasperated Kagome. She knelt and stared hard at her, her red eyes darkening to an unreadable hue. She reached out and grabbed Kagome’s face hardly, her nails digging into her cheeks. The sensation simultaneously burned and chilled, and Kagome didn’t know what to do with the attack of sensation. Her mind scrambled to find an appropriate response. And meanwhile the demon woman turned her head this way and that, searching for something and obviously not finding it. She let out a disgusted tut as she straightened back up.

            “Temporary body…huh?” She sighed. “Well, better than nothing, I suppose…” She stood, now looking thoroughly bored. “Well, now that we know you’re alive, I guess I don’t have to watch you anymore…” She turned, and while it seemed a perfectly innocent action at first, it became quickly obvious that she intended to leave. Kagome’s heart began to thud as she panicked slightly. She didn’t understand what she had meant about her body, and the word “temporary” had a horrifying connotation, but mostly, it seemed, she was just terrified of solitude. The thought of the woman leaving the room was enough to make her newly acquired heart to skip beats.

            _Don’t leave me alone!_

            She didn’t allow herself to say anything, but a small whine escaped her throat as she watched her only companion begin to leave. She bit her lip at the patronizing glare she got from the demon, but pleads filled her eyes.

            Kagura sighed. “Don’t get all clingy. Someone’ll be in.” She turned and Kagome had a strange feeling that the expression she was missing was very very important. “He’s not going to leave you alone.”

It took her the blink of an eye to cross the room and step out, not looking back as she closed the door. The door slammed and Kagome winced at the loud noise. As the fading footsteps, of which the girl was acutely aware, washed away completely, Kagome realized the completely total silence that had fallen. She heard everything… _everything_. She heard the distant wind, blowing from a place much farther away than the door she knew logically must be above her head. She could hear the soft flickerings of the flames on the candles, and even the soft hiss of the smoke that rose from the flames and the heads of sticks of incense. The smell was intoxicating and heavy, clouding her mind until all she could think about was the smell and the sounds and the silence.

Kagome felt strange. The silence felt predatory, and there was an eerie howling in the back of her head that began to hurt. She tried to hum or sing a song, but she couldn’t remember any. She would manage two notes and then found that her mind was blank beyond that. She tried to improvise, but every tune felt too familiar to continue.

            She settled for staring up at the ceiling, boredom and a growing sense of unease eating away at her. She noticed a stain, a spot just a shade or two darker than the rest of the wallpaper, and stared at it for awhile, picking out shapes in the various curves and cracks.

            _I’m alive…for now_. She lifted a hand with great effort and stared at it. It looked real, it looked human…but she felt something else, too, a flexible softness in her bones she didn’t remember, a weakness she was sure wasn’t natural. _A temporary body._ She thought of someone, someone she thought she knew, whose body was made of clay, someone living on borrowed time. The face…the face was _hers_. Her heart clenched and she hated how it felt. Was _that_ to be her destiny? Dread filled her as she realized that this body was may begin to erode and fade away, and she would be trapped in the black abyss of death again. Her hand fell with a thump to her chest.

            _I don’t want to die._

She closed her eyes but immediately opened them. She didn’t like that darkness, that blackness. It reminded her of the world of nothing but black. Just thinking of it made her body go cold with rage and determination. Her hands clenched eventually into a shaking fist, the effort of it leaving her exhausted. This body was shaky and tired, but she didn’t want to leave it.

            _I don’t want to die again._

“You’re still awake.”

            Kagome had been lost in tangled thoughts, but she turned her head eagerly at the familiar voice, her breath catching and her heart stopping. An unwanted and uncharacteristic feeling of excitement rose in her.

Naraku was sitting beside her, one arm propped on his knee, staring down at her with a face that seemed too good to be true. She wondered how he’d come in without her noticing. She looked beyond him and realized that she must really have spaced out, because Kagura was no longer in the room. The woman had wandered in and out seemingly at her own leisure, and she was no more friendly or forthcoming than she had been during their first encounter. If anything, the disdain she treated Kagome with seemed to _grow_ every time she saw her.

“How are you feeling?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He reached out and held her face in the same manner Kagura had, though with much gentler fingers. She tried to read his face, to figure out what he was looking for as his eyes traced her every feature, but his poker face was _amazing_. Though Kagura’s disapproval and disgust had been obvious, Kagome knew no more about Naraku’s emotions than she knew the color of the sky outside.

            “Quite beautiful,” he finally said, and leaned back with a small smile. “Such a shame to be wasted on a hanyou, isn’t it?”

            Something about that statement seemed wrong in her mind, but she ignored that to be explored later. She tried to move, perhaps to sit up and greet him, but he firmly placed his hand over her chest. He looked genuinely worried, and so very human for a moment that it took her breath away.

            “Don’t move,” he ordered firmly. “It was quite troublesome to get your body back…it would be a shame to permanently cripple it before you can truly get what you want, wouldn’t it?” He withdrew his hand, but slowly, reluctantly.

            “Is that all you’re thinking about?” she mumbled, only half kidding.

He took a deep breath. “You have no idea how wonderful it is that you’ve accepted me…” he murmured, so soft that she strained to hear. There was something undeniably seductive about the way he spoke. His eyes were soft but there were secrets, swimming like half-dead koi in a stagnant and muddy pond. “…Kagome…”

            A shiver ran through her as her name dropped like a lead weight in the air. She thought she saw Naraku’s smile twitch into a familiar smirk, but she blinked and it was gone, so she wondered if she had imagined it. She wanted to fidget but her body was still so heavy. There was still the buzzing, the burning under her skin, that made even the steady rise and fall of her chest painful and annoying.

            He reached down and touched his finger to her forehead. “How are you feeling?” he asked again. “It must be difficult, I imagine to have a body after so long.” His smile twitched again, but not quite into a smirk this time.

            _How long was I gone?_ The question wasn’t one Kagome felt she really wanted answered. She sifted desperately through her mind and settled on something less dangerous.

            “I feel…heavy,” she decided. “And I…I think I hurt…”

            “I’m sorry…residual damage couldn’t be avoided.” He stroked her cheek with one finger, and she wondered if he knew how much that contact irritated her. “You may hurt for awhile.”  His smile grew a bit strained, as if he were unused to keeping it up for very long, but he kept it plastered on his face anyway.

            Now that she had someone more _pleasant_ to talk to, Kagome’s curiosity began to rise up, taking control of her mouth. She only had the energy, however, for a single question. “Where are we?” she asked, feeling as if the answer were very important.

            A shadow passed over Naraku’s face, but his voice was even as he replied, “A castle of mine…secluded. Hidden. A perfect place for you to regain and gain strength.” He looked up, somewhere out of her range.  “When you are well enough, you can start training. And then…”

            “Kill Inuyasha.” She surprised herself with the interjection, but her heart burned at the thought. “And then I’ll kill Inuyasha…?” There was the slightest hopeful lilt at the end of her sentence and a bit of uncertainty wormed its way into her breast. With a body this heavy, this itchy, this _burning,_ could she really achieve what she had set out to do?

            This time, he made no effort to hide the malice or sadism in his smile. “Yes, my darling…if you set your heart on it, you will kill Inuyasha.”

            Kagome’s unease melted away at the confirmation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All around her are familiar faces...


End file.
